Friday, 10 February 2017

body confident: it's a mind over matter kinda thing.

"Body confidence"... something I've always lacked in, but thought if I were ever to reach that place one day I would probably look my best. I was wrong.

There is such an emphasis in society surrounding the word looks. For you to feel your best, it must be down to the external, the physical.  Something I've come to realise over the last few months is how powerful the mind actually is and works. There's this running joke with my mum that whenever I look through old photographs of myself, one of the first things I'll point out is how skinny I used to look, how better in shape I was back then, how everything was much easier... her response? "You think you want to look just how you used to in those pictures, but at that time you would still complain that you didn't look good enough". And it's true, I can't fault her on that. The truth is that the way we feel about ourselves on the outside has everything to do with what's going on (subconsciously or consciously) in our head.

People notice the changes in my lifestyle through my endless stream of photos or instastories online, and assume things. Yeah, I guess I look like I'm eating all the right things and I guess I workout quite a lot more now - but that hasn't been the driving force behind this new me. It's having that power to control what is going on internally. It's coming to terms with the fact that I'll probably never be 100% okay with myself, and that's completely fine. Accepting that has managed to break something within me. 

Mind over matter.

It's having that willpower to ignore what you or anybody else sees in the mirror. Trust me, I've had skinnier times and there's been moments where my jeans have fit a bit better... but you know what, that means nothing if I'm not feeling great inside. And that's what I've realised. When that part of my brain that is controlled by what society thinks, that't when I'll start to feel crap again. Equally, when that other part of brain that is actually rooting for me tries to fight back, I am the life of the party again. I'm walking on sunshine. No one can bloody touch me, Dina is invincible to all! And just reading this back, I realised how many times I repeated the word LOOK within the first paragraph - the inner copywriter in me is reaching for a thesaurus - but that's just it. We are constantly fed through every form of media that everything depends on what we are on the outside. It's consuming this generation so much that it worries me beyond belief. 

Well I challenge you to find the strength to deal with what's going on up there in that head of yours, which has the ability to control what we see with our eyes.

The girl who weighed a stone lighter would have never thought that she was good enough to wear these jeans, or have the confidence to rock a short shirt. The girl in the present doesn't give a rats ass... and doesn't it feel good saying it!

TOP, BODYSUIT and JEANS from primark.
RUCKSACK stolen from big sister.
LEATHER JACKET and CONVERSES a couple of seasons too old.


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